A Sex Writer at the Writers' Room of Boston

This is more writing-related than sex-related, but anyhoo, I thought I'd share a blog post I wrote for the fabulous Grub Street Daily on writing sex at the Writers' Room of Boston.

Fifty Shades of Empowerment

50 Shades is everywhere!

It seems that the non-literary experts agree that Fifty Shades of Grey is a great thing for its readers---and their psychological/sexual health.  Here's an excerpt from the article in question, which is "Fifty Shades of Empowerment" by Carolyn Butler at Winnipeg Free Press:

"Fifty Shades is getting a lot of people thinking and talking more openly about sex, sexuality, desire and interest," says Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Sex Made Easy. "It's helping many women to feel comfortable enjoying something about sexual fantasy and arousal. Not only is it OK to fantasize, not only is it OK to read really explicit info about sex, but right now, it's the cool thing to do."

Bravo!

Go Deeper, Baby: A One-Night Course

Anais Nin - an erotic hero of mine

Folks, now is the time to write erotica!  My one-night erotic writing seminar at Grub Street this week has totally sold out and has received so much interest that we're offering it again in September.  Here's the blurb:

Go Deeper, Baby: Writing Meaningful Erotica

Thursday, September 5th, 6:30-9:30pm at Grub Street headquarters.

In this one-night seminar, we'll celebrate erotic fiction looking at why it's both emotionally valuable and increasingly popular. Drawing on well-respected authors such as Anais Nin and Steve Almond, we'll explore what makes a sexy story sexy, while also tapping the transformational qualities of the genre. Come along with a willingness to be open about feelings and sensations, and you'll leave with a short, sexy story of your own. All sexual and gender identities warmly welcomed. Led by an instructor who regularly publishes erotica and views it as some of her most meaningful work.

You can sign up here (scroll down for the September workshop).  I hope to see you there!

The Sexy Cousin of Nolan's Dark Knight

As a fan of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight, I was intrigued to see that a porn version of the Dark Knight Rises by Axel Braun is soon to be released.  (Released!  As soon as you start talking about sex, puns appear, right?).  The film is entitled the Dark Knight Rises XXX and you can read more from Violet Blue here or just take a glance at this beautifully stylized pic of Aiden Ashley as Catwoman.  Surely those who say that porn is not real art will be thrown by the aesthetic beauty of stills like this one!

Female-to-Male: A Journey

Thomas Page McBee

With Boston Pride just around the corner, a rich mix of posts about sexuality abound.  Take a look at Female-to-Male Alongside Pop Culture by Thomas Page McBee at the Boston Phoenix this week.  The article is about his decision to transition from female to male and the journey that followed for him.  A taster:

Going on hormones was scary. I was afraid of being alone, misunderstood, alien. And Bono complicated things for me. I didn't see myself in his story, but he was suddenly my mascot. 

Well worth a read!

The Horrors and Pleasures of Sex on the Subway

Sexual assault on the T is a lonely place.

I have a new post up at the Boston Daily, folks, about a recent and openly sexual assault on the subway. Put it this way: some people shouldn't be allowed to use the subway. Period.

Sometimes it's hard, I know, but if you we see something, let's shout it.

Labia Are Beautiful

Georgia O'Keefe

One of the wonderful things about vulvas is their rich variety.  If you need convincing, take a gander at Vulva 101.  In fact, many women have inner labia that are externalized and obvious to the naked eye -- and this can be a most attractive attribute.  So why are porn mags afraid to show externalized inner labia?  Do check out this vid (warning: explicit images from the outset) to see how the labia we see in porn are often visually altered.  Does porn, and those who censor porn, have a responsibility to not censor in such cases?  In my view, yes.  Let's see real vulvas please.

Thanks so much to Errica for the link.

The Simpsons: Where Gay Kisses Rule

Woohoo!  Thanks to my beautiful grrrl for the link.

8 Steamy Page-Turners

I forgot to mention that in addition to my review of Fifty Shades, Glo have also published my list of recommended steamy page-turners.  These are some of my fave sexy stories that have a fast-paced, page-turning quality.  I hope you enjoy them.

Also!  If you are a writer of erotic stories, drop me a line, either in the comments or by email (see my full blogger profile for email address).  We have an exciting project in the works...

Bring on the erotica, folks.

Susie and Aretha: Mother-Daughter Sex Advice

Susie Bright and her daughter Aretha give fantabulous sex advice about talking about sex within the family.  Take a look at this interview by Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon to see just how great they are.  Here's a snippet to tempt you:

Susie:  Sometimes I talk to kids and they tell me, “I have the opposite problem. My parents confide to me as if I was their little friend.” For me, that isn’t a healthy, sex-positive parental frame any more than being uptight and refusing to let a single word be said about it. Somehow, it’s the opposite but the same thing. A good parent says, “You can talk to me about anything and it can be in general terms. If you’ve got a physical problem and you’re uncomfortable talking, can I help get you to a clinic or a doctor that you would feel comfortable talking to?” Don’t get all hurt that they don’t want to tell you, just help them find someone that they can talk to instead of getting all sulky about it and saying, “You have to tell me everything or else I won’t help you!”

That sounds spot on to me!  Bravo, bravo.

And thank you to my wonderful A for the link.

Plugging the Republicans?

From Juxtapoz.  Thank you to beautiful Angela for the link.  This is zany.  And I like it.

Doms Don't Have to Be Broken

This is a post-script to my review of Fifty Shades of Grey, which is now up at Glo Magazine. The thing is, I've been hearing folks talking about Fifty Shades as if all dominants are broken men and all submissives are innocent women.  And this just isn't true.  Period.  We mustn't let the plot elements in Fifty Shades stereotpye BDSM for us.  Yes, submissives are often women, and yes, dominants are often men.  But there are countless other kinds of BDSM dynamic.  

What's more, by no means have all dominants experienced a brutal past, and neither are all subs virginal and shy.  By no means do all doms use BDSM to deal with past trauma either, like Christian Grey in Fifty Shades.  Some of us simply enjoy pain and control, in terms of giving or receiving...or indeed switching.  Rather like spicy food, which is pleasant because it triggers the pain receptors in our mouths, BDSM is more to do with sex and lifestyle tastes than it is with painful roots.

That said, enjoy the read!

Fifty Shades of Hilarious

I'm not usually a fan of advertisements, but this is to die for!  Like magic, Fifty Shades of Grey gets a Magic Wand onto our screens.  Tadaaa!  (Thanks to RW for the link).

Me Party

I've always said solo dates are important.  And the Muppets agree.  In fact, even the food the Muppets eat agrees.  But why would we expect any less?

Seriously, enjoy this clip from the Muppet movie, which I first watched on my first date with a very, very special grrl, and am now enjoying on a Me Date.  It's all rather lovely...though I'll admit that the Muppets are more than a little retro.

The "Do Say Gay Campaign" Meets X-Rated Breast-Feeding

Today, we're celebrating the sex-positive side of Obama in my Boston Magazine post at the Boston Daily.  Mr. President, I salute you.

And I hear whispers that copies of Time Magazine are being withdrawn from stores because the cover depicts a woman who is breastfeeding a young boy.  The feature is apparently about women who breastfeed their children for an unusually long amount of time.  But is this cover really so shocking?  A woman with her breast out, feeding a kid.  Some consider this to be X-rated, it seems.  My opinion?  I don't agree.

But Lisa Belkin at HuffPost disagrees with me.  One of her points is that this cover makes breastfeeding titillating.  I wouldn't call it titillating, actually.  But my question is, what isn't made titillating in the media today?  Most important things are.  I also don't see why feeding a child shouldn't be sexy -- motherhood can be sexy, just as non-motherhood can be sexy, especially when these states of being are empowered.

Anyway, what do you think about this, gentle reader?  I'm not a mother myself.  Does that make a difference to my/your responses to the Time cover?

Fifty Shades...Or is That Fifty Thousand?

Rachel Kramer Bussel

Dear heaven, we're all nuts about Fifty Shades of Grey...at least, that's how it looks from the internet.  We're talking big numbers here, in every way.  I even heard rumors that paper copies of E. L. James' novel were going for 30 dollars a pop, last week.  Print books for thirty bucks!  Amazing.

Anyhoo, supersmart Rachel Kramer Bussel has a piece about Fifty Shades in the New York Observer this week.  It's well worth a read.  Apparently, E. L. James used YouPorn for research.  Using YouPorn as a reference guide?  Sounds good to me.

Today, I Love You, Mr. President

From the Washington Blade - Photographer Michael Key

Obama supports same-sex marriage and is prepared to say so.  A historic moment! 

From the Washington Blade: 'But after conversations with his own staff members, openly gay and lesbian service members, and discussions with his wife and daughters, Obama said he “just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."'

You know what is also wonderful about this?  Our president is modeling that changing one's mind is a powerful attribute -- not a failure, but a success.  And the more public figures come out in favor of LGBTQ rights because of a change of heart, the more I will support them.  

Rigidity is weak.  Rethinking is strong.  And love is everything.

Sing it.

Your Right to be Beasties

Thanks to my dear friend SB for this Coldplay cover of the Beastie Boys' Fight for Your Right to Party.  It's a gem. 

So fight for your right to be sexual, folks.  Sexual and proud.

Dania Londono Suarez Defends Herself

Dania Londono Suarez

On this vid at HuffPost, Dania Londono Suarez tells the story of the American Secret Service guys who treated her with rudeness and aggression.  I note that in Spain, where prostitution is legal, a talented, intelligent professional escort can appear on TV and defend herself with eloquence.  (Watch the vid here).  It's time we gave all American sex workers the same rights.

Droid Sex in 2050

Image via iStockPhoto

Sex robots of the future!  But do we really want or need them?  Take a peek at my post at Boston Magazine's Boston Daily, this week.

Hot, Hot Sherlock

 Anyone who hasn't seen the BBC's modern-day Sherlock, get a copy of series 1 right now!  See below for the scene in which Holmes and Watson first meet.  And while we're at it, thanks to Violet Blue at tinynibbles for the link to an awesome (explicit erotic) pic of Holmes and Watson au naturel.

Is it steamy in here, or is it just me? 

How to Lose Your Virginity by Therese Schecter

Pic by zoonabar via Forbes

J. Maureen Henderson has written a post at Forbes on a new documentary film by Therese Schecter called "How to Lose Your Virginity."  In Henderson's post, Schecter says she was inspired to make the film because women of today often feel that certain identities are slapped onto them because of their sexual choices.  Take the terms "slut" and "prude" for instance, which are all about trying to control us.  Schecter wants to spur "a more open dialogue about what sex does and doesn’t mean for young women."

Schecter says:

“With women, a lot of it is about losing your virginity in the right way, like with your perfect boyfriend on prom night, or whatever. Then you get violins and crashing waves and stupendous orgasms and true love forever. If you do it with the wrong person, at the wrong time, for the wrong reason, you’ll be dirty and no man will ever love you and you’ll go crazy and die from diseases. It’s never like, OK that was an unsuccessful life experience, but I’ll move on now.”

How true! In fact, given how often folks seem to think that a woman's "virginity" is sealed for freshness like a Pringles tub, it isn't surprising that our society is fixated.

I can't wait to see this documentary.  And incidentally, Schecter needs money to continue with this project, so if you have some to spare, consider sending it her way.

Secret Service Sex Worker Scandal Creates a Buzz

Spirit Airlines recently pulled this ad, which alludes to the story

The recent Secret Service "scandal" is bringing the debate over whether we should decriminalize prostitution, into the limelight.  Take a look at this super article (this and the pulled ad to the left are both via Tits and Sass).