A Lesson for Boston University's Peeping Toms

Yes, Bostonians have been peeping.  And we're not talking "consensual" here.  Find out more at my Boston Magazine post today, at the Boston Daily.

By the way, I had a sudden thought this morning:  Being a fan of the amazing literature of Sarah Waters (Tipping the Velvet is one of my favourite novels) I often forget that to most folks "Tom" is a very masculine word.  See, in Tipping the Velvet "Tom" is used in place of "lesbian" -- and brilliantly, I might add.  However, we have no proof of the genders of these BU peepers!  After all, women peep too.

Muslims for Progressive Values: Bravo!

Please do read this wonderful post at HuffPost today by Jaweed Kaleem.  Muslims for Progressive Values clearly rock!  Kaleem writes:

"On this brisk Monday night in late October, members of Muslims for Progressive Values, a nascent American reformist organization, had gathered from around the country to celebrate a milestone: In four years, the group had grown from a few friends to a thousand members and spawned a string of small mosques and spiritual groups that stretched from Atlanta to Los Angeles."

And respect for being queer is a big part of this.  Kaleem writes:

"In a corner of the room, an imam in a long gray tunic counseled a young Muslim with a vexing spiritual conflict: being gay and Muslim. The imam, also gay and in a relationship, could easily sympathize with the youth's difficulties."

Is that not beautiful?  Bravo!

Transgender and Cross-Dressing Hotness

Jenna, herself, via Shift

Miss Universe Canada sucks (I'm an anti-pageant grrl for many good reasons), for disqualifying Jenna Talackova, who, as Shift Magazine notes, is gorgeous.  In turn, the mag gives us pics of ten transgender and cross-dressing beauties and...phew, is it getting kinda hot in here?

A Lawyer on Prostitution

I was researching sex work in the Boston area, when I came across this post from lawyer Samuel Goldberg, who really knows his stuff.  If you're interested in any way in prostitution and the law, do take a look.  The piece is beautifully written, intelligent, and totally on point, and though it hails from 2009, it still feels very relevant.  And if you, or anyone you know, ever need(s) a lawyer, Samuel Goldberg is at Altman & Altman. 

Good to know, right?

A Lot of Lovely Mischief

Firstly, thanks to the Angel for B*tches in Bookstores, below.  Anais Nin makes an appearance, of course.  Hilarious!  Take a look:



Also, new erotica imprint by Harper Collins UK is creating a flutter all over the internet.  I hope I will also be writing for them at some point, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  And just take a look at the e-book covers!  Finally, an e-book press that puts time and effort into its artwork.  Edited by the fabulous Adam Nevill, with big name erotica writers both penning the books and running the show, Mischief aren't just another e-book press.  They're going with quality, aesthetic and inventiveness.  I look forward to reading!

Queering Mad Men

   

Thanks to Elisa Kreisinger's artful, visionary video remixes of Mad Men, the program just went oh-so-queer.  A stroke of genius!  Trust me.  And the Atlantic Weekly couldn't agree more.  In fact, in the interview, Kreisinger says, "I hope audiences appreciate the way in which the remixes touch on issues of copyright, authorship and feminism; they aren’t just about characters from a TV show, although I think that’s the entry point. Mad Men is just the spoon full of sugar that makes the socio-political critique go down."

Fascinating, huh? 

Thanks to Violet Blue for the link.

They're Doing It. Period.

Pic from Ms. Magazine

This week's sex column at Boston Magazine recognizes that twelve year-old's are having sex, and asks what on earth we do we do about that.

The Reformed Whores on Rush Limbaugh

Thanks to Errica for recommending me this hilarious video.  We are sluts, folks.  Are you with us?

And You Thought Orgasms Were Only About Sex?

Nope, apparently they're about exercise too, as a new study suggests.  Well, fantastic.  A good incentive for me to get back on the treadmill.

Oh, and while we're at it, if you're interested in high quality, handcrafted BDSM sex accessories that feel really special, check out Sir Adam and Gillian's store.  They will make vegan toys too.  And they're even lovely people.

Just Stare At Yourself

Mislav Marohnić via Wikimedia Commons

I recently reviewed Hylton Coxwell's Vulva 101.  What a tour de force!  Photos of vulva.  Real vulva.  Do take a look at the review.

Sex Will Change Totally? Well, When Doesn't It!

By Alamy via Huffington Post

When I'm told that our sex lives are all going to change, I feel skeptical.  Having graduated in Psychology, back in Britain, I know that predicting the future in a scientific way is very hard to do.  Did we predict AIDS?  No.  Did we predict burlesque pride?  Not that I can see.  Did we know that a woman named Betty Dodson would publish a book that would change our solo sex lives?  No, we did not.

Besides, predictions are risky.  After all, when you tell us that something will happen, we often make it happen unconsciously -- such is the power of expectation.

So do take this article at Huffington Post with a pinch of salt.  I've yet to read Liza Mundy's the Richer Sex -- and who knows, it might well convince me.  But when I look at the predictions -- the heterocentric predictions -- I don't see any that I might, or even want to, believe.

Seriously, if you said to me, "Being queer, kinky or polyamorous is going to be far more popular in five years time," or "A more powerful solo-sexual revolution is coming," I'd be far more convinced.  Why?  Because this is what seems to be happening in front of my eyes.  And they are positive things to wonder about.

Note I use the word "wonder."  I ain't about to predict.

Lovely Porn and Horrid History

Folks, I'm back after a lovely weekend!

Jim Rea at Woodhull's Sexual Freedom has written a fascinating post on the history of religious attacks against women who attempt to use contraception.  The story includes references to magic, the devil...and that's just for starters.  Do check it out. (Sadly, times haven't changed so much, have they?).

Secondly, the Good For Her 2012 Annual Feminist Porn Awards are off to a great start.  You can take a look at the nominees here.

Fetish: A Dirty Word?

This week, at Boston Magazine's Boston Daily, I look at why fetishes can be so positive for all of us, regardless of whether we enjoy them or not.

An Activist with a Riding Crop

I want to tell you how a dear friend and I went to Good Vibrations.  It was really quite lovely.  Not only did we spend a little money and receive some great advice from the staff, but the friend in question, who is beautifully sex-positive, gave me further gifts over coffee: some accessories that she'd once acquired but no longer had a place for.  So, among other goodies, I received a riding crop, no less, and one that isn't made of leather.  Non-leather crops are unusual -- in fact, I'd been looking for one.

So!  My friend thoughtfully packaged this riding crop in a cardboard tube, which I took with me on the subway, where I received fewer stares than when I transported a relatively naked feather teaser, not so long ago. But as I traveled, I remembered that my activist duties probably include occasionally carrying a riding crop, openly, in public, and being quite proud about it.  After all, as a Psychology grad, I know that modeling is one of society's strongest learning tools.

But hell, being outspoken is tiring at times, especially for yours truly who is an introvert, so today I was quite glad of my friend's cardboard tube.  Which got me thinking...as activists and/or sex-positives, we need to be kind to ourselves.  Those who long to be the change in this world need the energy to keep on being ourselves, and this should be one of our highest concerns.  After all, we can't be the change unless we have the energy, right?

So thank you to my friend for the long, cardboard tube.  And also, of course, for its contents...

The "Obscene" E-Book

Paypal, who were planning to stop providing services for e-books that have themes of rape, incest and bestiality, have made an about-turn.  They are not going to target entire classes of book (e.g. e-book erotica) but will rather consider each book individually.

From today's article at Forbes:  "PayPal's new policy will focus only on e-books that contain potentially illegal images, not e-books that are limited to just text, spokesman Anuj Nayar said on Tuesday. The service will still refuse, however, to process payments for text-only e-books containing child pornography themes."

My gosh, dear Nabakov, this reminds me of how brave you were to get into the mind of a Humbert Humbert, the molester in Lolita.  When will the world begin to understand that imagining something is not the same as doing it?

For Tarot Lovers

Ffiona Morgan

If you're a tarot fan, please check out this wonderful post by Katrina Wynne on how the cards relate to sex.  As you can see, Wynne references some lovely major arcana cards, including this gorgeous Lovers illustration from the Daughters of the Moon deck by Ffiona Morgan.  This deck also contains an alternative Lovers card that depicts two guys.

Beautiful.

Sexual Identity and Fear

If there's one thing I know, it's that sexuality should not divide us.  This is why I love the notion expressed in Tristin Taormino's super-popular article, about the Queer Heterosexual.  The more we talk about sex-positivity, and the more we value our richness in terms of sexuality and gender, the more we will embrace our wholeness as a society.  And I know this will make us happier.

There's a super article by Hardy Haberman at Woodhull right now, entitled, "Opposition of Same-Sex Marriage Isnt' About Faith, It's About Sex."  Haberman writes:

"When politicians like Rick Santorum can actually find support for limiting availability of contraception, what they are really doing is giving voice to the fear that sex can be something other than breeding."

Well said!  You can read the whole article here.

Also, while we're at it, thanks to EK for telling me about Fruit Punch, a new queer, indie porn company out of Portland, no less.  These guys look wonderful and I love the way they introduce themselves on their vid.  Do check them out...

Fetishization: A Dirty Word?

This week, Arianna Huffington writes intelligently about our current obsession with social media, quoting Thoreau:

"We are in great haste," wrote Thoreau in 1854, "to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate." And today, we are in great haste to celebrate something going viral, but seem completely unconcerned whether the thing that went viral added one iota of anything good -- including even just simple amusement -- to our lives."

And while I think Huffington makes a strong point, I don't like her use of the term fetishization to suggest a negative or meaningless obsession.  Fetishes are fascinating, creative and beautiful.  They speak to our human vulnerability and the ways in which we thirst for sexual attachment in the everyday and imaginary worlds.  I remember discovering a fetish via Violet Blue in which folks enjoy placing damp tissues across one another's bodies.  And I thought, "My gosh, how incredibly lovely!  What a sweet, sexy, inventive thing to do."

So you won't find me using fetish and fetishization as negative terms.  Unless, you know, we're talking about a "killing people fetish," which requires actual, um, ...killing. 

Yes, let's avoid that one.

Not Trafficked

Well,"Warrior Woman" feels like a fitting pic

Anti-trafficking discourse is often the sex worker's enemy.  One look at Tara Hurley's powerful documentary Happy Endings? shows how this happened on Rhode Island in quite destructive and even racist ways.  (In fact, I wrote about this at Boston Magazine).  In a new piece from the Nation we see a similar struggle in the Thai sex industry.  Thanks to Tits and Sass for the link.

To Bleed or not to Bleed? Science, the Pill and the Catholic Church

Image via ThinkStock

I was amazed to discover the secret history of the Pill and how 1950's scientists quite literally used women's blood as a persuasive technique.  So I blogged about it at the Boston Daily.

I mean, oh my god. 

Touching Yourself Gets You an Oreo?

On a recent Savage Love Podcast, Dan Savage told a weight-conscious listener that a masturbation session burns off the calories of about one Orio.  Given the context, Dan was explaining that you couldn't really use solo sex as a way of losing the pounds.  But I was riveted!  Hell, I'm not eating enough Oreos, baby!  Imagine the sweetness every time I touch myself.

It's like sugar for sugar, right?

Says it All

After my last blog post, this pic should be self-evident!  Thanks so much to A, who gave me the link, and to Mrs. Betty Bowers.

The Plank in Kirk Cameron's Eye

Just been having a conversation with my girlfriend about Kirk Cameron's discussion on CNN in which he says that marriage should only be between a man and a woman, because God...  Actually, this argument is getting so cliche that we don't need to hear it again, right?  Sadly, when Cameron is asked whether he thinks being gay is sinful, he replies that he thinks everyone is sinful because he is a Christian.  Well, I know Christians who think that all kinds of loving sexual identities are beautiful, not sinful. 

Do I remember something from the Bible about taking the plank out of your own eye before you try and take the speck of sawdust out of your brother's?  Mind you, as we know, being yourself sexually isn't a plank.  It's a way of loving, connecting.

And Cameron would do well to learn from that.

End of the Porn Golden Age

Pic from Salon.com

There is a wonderful piece at Salon.com by Michael Stabile, who landed writing/marketing gigs for porn companies in the golden age of porn (around 2002 to 2006).  But his luxurious lifestyle has now changed dramatically.

No more French chateaus for him!

"It was an incredibly creative time for the industry," writes Stabile.  "For all the boondoggles – a gay porn site curated by Jenna Jameson that never quite took off, a porn version of “The Color Purple” that was shelved – it was an exciting place to be. Studios invested in high-quality cameras, shot on location in Greece and Hawaii and Paris. There were massive webmaster parties in Berlin. Chartered yachts off the coast of Mexico. For two weeks one summer, my writing partner, Jack, and I got paid to live at a bathhouse while we worked on a gay porn soap opera. TMZ showed up at awards ceremonies. Even when it wasn’t glamorous, it was exciting."

But then...

"Somewhere in 2006," Sabile adds, "we began to run out of licks..."

Read the full article (it's well worth it!) here.

Story via TinyNibbles

The Outrageous Appearance of Pubes

A new advert by American Apparel (see left) is causing a fuss because it shows the model's pubic hair.  How odd that pubic hair is considered so shocking.  I mean, if the advert showed her waxed pussy instead, would folks be less appalled?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Whatever, I feel like we're living in a hair-phobic society.  I mean, d'you remember when poor old Julia Roberts got a whole load of awful press for having hairy armpits?

Someday, waxed genitals will be outrageously uncouth.  Watch this space.

Fox in the Hotseat

I have a new interview up at Xcite Books, this week.  It's all about why I'm an erotic writer and where I get my inspiration.  I hope you enjoy it...

Your Kinky Graduation (at Harvard, No Less)

Pic from the movie, "The Graduate"

Who thinks Harvard is stuffy when it comes to sex and sexuality?  If you do, you will be pleasantly surprised by my new post at Boston Magazine today. 

Carrying Condoms Proves You're a Hooker?

I mean the notion is just crazy, right?  Ain't no other word.  Here's the story at Jezebel. 

Of course, the idea that condoms might be "planted" or "used as proof of prostitution" is so cruel, ludicrous, socially irresponsible and sex-negative that I might just eat my own head.

A big thank you to the Angel who sent me the link.