Foxtrology: Gemini

Quick Note: I've set up a new Foxtrology page where all astrological profiles will be added, as they're released.

If your sun sign is Gemini, you were born between May 21st and June 20th*

Gemini's quick wits and silver tongue can really charm your pants off, and if you were born under this sign, potential lovers probably fascinate you.  Your single-minded interest in your lovers will make them feel special, and your experimental fire is likely to lead to passion and excitement in the bedroom.  Solo sex, BDSM, role-play and romance are all on the cards for imaginative and powerful Gemini, who often possesses a talent for performance.  Take care with that whip, however, because natives of this sign can be quick to bruise.  It is true that these fiery folk can struggle, at times, from a fear of commitment, but there is also the sense that Gemini (whose symbol is "the twins") is always looking for her/his/hir ideal partner, and lovers who are strong enough to express intense emotion can certainly inspire a Gemini's love.

In terms of physicality, Gemini is all about the arms, hands and lungs, so do take advantage of those dextrous fingers, which are wonderful in both solo and partnered sex.  As for erogenous zones, kissing, massaging or suckling on Gemini's fingers or arms is likely to build them into a lather.  And if you're sleeping with a Gemini, you might note how beautiful those fingers look when pressed against your skin...

Enjoy your twins, Gemini!  And remember...your astrological chart is a mix of all sorts of aspects (including your Moon sign and your Rising sign, to name but a couple).  So if you are a Gemini and any of the above doesn't sound like you, then it probably isn't!  This is a just a generalization.  

Note:  *unless you were born outside of the USA, in which case, google!

The Invention of Straightness: A History by Hanne Blank

A detail from the cover of "Straight"

Even today, there is often the assumption that straight is the default, and queer is something you "find" or "discover" or "become."  But such attitudes are limiting, in my opinion, and can prevent us from opening up to new experiences.  I believe many of us are more fluid than the terms "gay" or "straight" can ever capture.  "Queer" is certainly a handy term.

That said, how did the linguistic divide between "gayness" and "straightness" actually arise? 

Interviewed by Thomas Rogers at Salon, Hanne Blank (who is author of a new history of heterosexuality, entitled Straight) speaks of the Austro-Hungarian journalist named Károly Mária Kertbeny who coined the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual":

"He created these words," says Blank, "as part of his response to a piece of Prussian legislation that made same-sex erotic behavior illegal, even in cases where the identical act performed by a man and a woman would be considered legal. And he was one of a couple of people who did a lot of writing and campaigning and pamphleteering to try to change legal opinion on that matter. He coined the words “heterosexual” and “homosexual” in a really very clever bid to try to equalize same-sex and different-sex. His intent was to suggest that there are these two categories in which human beings could be sexual, that they were not part of a hierarchy, that they were just two different flavors of the same thing."

Revealing, right?  Yes, I want to read this book!

Two Vaginas, One Healthy Attitude

Hazel Jones has two vaginas.  Bravo, Hazel, for coming out about this.  Quoting Nadine Deninno at the International Business Times:

"Jones said she is not embarrassed by the condition but rather uses it for social benefits. 

 'My quirky condition does not make me shy or hold me back,' she told The Sun.  'In fact, it's something I celebrate.' 

'As soon as I found out what it was, I told everybody,' she said. 'I thought it was amazing. It's definitely an ice breaker at parties.' According to Jones, she is happy to show everyone, including women."

What an inspiring attitude!  I hope it will help those who feel ashamed or awkward about their vaginas to realize how beautiful they are.

That said, I'm not sure I like the use of the word "condition" in this context.  While having two vaginas does seem to cause problems with childbirth, there doesn't seem to be much "illness" in the equation (and that is what "condition" has come to mean).  "Difference" seems like a more constructive word, to me.  And frankly, "miracle" doesn't feel like too much of a stretch.

Bacon Lube

No, really.  I was going to say this is very "tongue in cheek" but there's kind of a meat reference there, wouldn't you say?



Via tinynibbles, with thanks.

Shit People Say to Sex Workers (NSFW, Adults Only)

Folks, this is priceless.  It contains adult language so, unless you're in a very sex-positive atmosphere, it's NSFW and adults only.  Via TitsAndSass, with thanks.

Heavens, the things sex workers have to put up with.  (By the way, I love the smoking girl so much.  It's the look, the look...).

Cameryn Moore is Banging it Out

Photo by Caleb Cole

I'm just transcribing a brilliant interview with performer and writer, Cameryn Moore (of slut (r)evolution/Phone Whore).  Cameryn is an inspiring, empowering, politically fervent writer, performer and phone-sex operator.  Here's how she's described on her website:

"Cameryn Moore is the sex-work alias for an award-winning producer, director, choreographer, and writer who has been creating and performing since 2000, first in San Francisco, then in Boston. In addition to her live performance work, Ms. Moore is a full-time phone sex operator, dirty-talk educator, and creator of a forthcoming line of custom and off-the-rack audio smut (heh heh, she said “rack”)."

Fabulous, right?  Cameryn just released a new book, which I am just ordering, entitled Bang it Out.  This is a collection of the sidewalk smut she has created, in various cities, by simply sitting at the side of the road with an old-fashioned typewriter, and banging out people's sexual fantasies onto the page -- a gift for them.  In other words, superfast, customized porn.  Buy a copy!  You know you want to...

When You Ban Me, You Scream Lies

I'm guessing that some will know about the following psychological smokescreens already, but they are frighteningly relevant right now.

When you ban something, you make an assumption that this "something" is going to occur and cause damage.  Because really, bans can be used to give powerful unconscious messages about who is trustworthy and who is not.  If a twisted politician wants to control a particular group within a society, instead of saying, "These people do not deserve reproductive rights," or "These people are cruel towards children," it's more powerful when they say, "These people are being banned from being able to choose abortion."  The latter insinuates the former, and thus works on an individual's unconscious mind. And the unconscious is, in many ways, far more powerful than the conscious mind because it creates weights and biases that go right to the core of us.  Of course, this is why we must always question what we are told, in order to see the truth.

An example of this comes from many moons ago, when I worked with troubled teens:  When a teacher asks a student to open a window, she has choices.  She can say, "Please open the window, Tommy," then watch until he does so.  This leads Tommy to understand that she isn't necessarily expecting his compliance.  On the other hand, if she says, "Open the window, thanks, Tommy," then turns away, assuming the job is as good as done, Tommy will also assume this.  And such is the nature of power.

When politicians act as if an opinion is a fact, we are far more susceptible.  And this is one of the reasons why I'm a fan of this video by Maria Kayanan of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida, who is fighting a Florida abortion bill that makes huge assumptions about women of color and is scheduled to be heard today:

If Gingrich Wins, We Should Invest in Steel Underwear

Yeah, just trust me on this.

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Foxtrology: Taurus

If your sign is Taurus, you were born between: April 20th to May 20th*

Well, Taurus isn't so much about roses and fiery sunsets as it is about embraces and whispered promises.  And by the way, such murmurings are often delivered via a beautiful, sonorous voice.  Why?  This sign rules the throat and neck, and that's key with Taurus...so bring on the sex-talk!  Yes, dirty words or breathy requests can be hot as heck if Taurus folks are open to it, which, in spite of their grounded nature, might well be the case.  After all, the steadfast and practical Taurus is perfectly capable of passion -- and  some BDSM play isn't out of the question if these lovers are ready to harness their darkness.  As for erogenous zones, a few caresses around the neckline or nape, or around the throat and ears, are likely to work these bulls into a lather, and if you're a solo lover, you might try a tiny finger vibe that you wear on your index (like the Rumblin' Rose) to give this whole area a gentle massage.  To top it all, Taurus lovers are often wonderful at afterplay cuddles.  There's heaps of affection beneath the hide of your amorous bull. 

Raise those horns, Taurus!  And remember...your astrological chart is a mix of all sorts of aspects (including your Moon sign and your Rising sign, to name but a couple).  So if you are Taurus and any of the above doesn't sound like you, then it probably isn't!  This is a just a generalization.  

Note:  *unless you were born outside of the USA, in which case, google!

Clitoris Envy

Thank you to both the Mary Sue blog and my dear friend, KL, for sending me in the direction of this richly informative post on the clitoris.  Yes!  Be warned, those who do no have a clitoris may find themselves somewhat envious.

Clitoris envy.  Suck on that, Freud.

Viva La Vulva!

A 2012 Disney Princess Pin-up

I'm all for making fairy tales erotic and the Sexy 2012 Disney Princess Pin-Up Calendar (via tinynibbles) is hot, silly and inventive.  But let's not forget that this isn't how most women are shaped!  The slim-yet-busty thing can be a dream, sure, but it isn't true to the lives of many, and frankly, there are those of us who are hankering for some real in popular sex culture.  There ain't nothing wrong with imaginative fantasy, of course, but might we sometimes be shown a richer range of body shapes? 

Actually, yes!  Because fortunately, I'm busy reading my copy of Vulva 101 by Hylton Coxwell.  This is a coffee table book that contains close-up photographs of women's vulvas, and it certainly showcases a rich and real variety.  Still, until I'm ready to review this gem in detail, you can always order your own copy of Vulva 101.  Well, why not?  Viva la Vulva!

Foxtrology: Aries

I have been ensconced in astrology, of late, with a view to studying how it can help us to understand our sexual selves.  I thought I'd share some intriguing sex points over the next month by looking at the different sun signs through a sexual lens.  This information can be useful to you whether you are solo or partnered and no matter how you identify.  So seeing as it's the first sign of the zodiac, let's start with Aries.

Sexual Astrology for Aries: (March 21 -- April 19*):

If Aries is your sun sign, astrology suggests that you like to be caressed around the face and head.  This can make the ears, crown and/or hairline potentially powerful erogenous zones.  Playing with the hair of an Aries or nibbling their ears, can also arouse them no end, and seeing as they are often intelligent and quick-witted, they might well enjoy talking about sex and sexual politics.  Indeed, their natural power and directness can make for wonderful BDSM play.  Many Aries people are ignited in the bedroom.  They possess a high sex drive, powerful communication skills, and a passion for sex itself.  Aries lovers might find it hard to let sexual longing simmer and build, preferring to have it all now, now, now, so it's often helpful if they learn to vary pace and approach.  Their rapid expenditure of energy can mean that Aries lovers need time for rest and recuperation.  However, they might not always realise how important this is for their health. 

Burn on Aries!  And remember...your astrological chart is a mix of all sorts of aspects (including your Moon sign and your Rising sign, to name but a couple).  So if you are Aries and any of the above doesn't sound like you, then it probably isn't!  This is a just a generalization.  

Note:  *unless you were born outside of the USA, in which case, google!

Art of Faceless

Image by the Art of Faceless

A beautiful photo, right?  This comes from a wonderful project run by the Art of Faceless.  Faceless writes, "I feel it’s impossible to remove sexuality from images of the body. This is one of the main reasons why I’ve chosen to use degrees of nudity and developed a psycho-sexual element within many images. Our own bodies react to images in ways we sometimes find difficult to explain or even feel comfortable with. A faceless subject allows us to explore these reactions and emotions unconstrained by convention."

I love this project.  Do take a look at the other photos.  Fascinating, artful.

Fur Merkins?

I'm anti-fur.  I'm also anti-merkin.  I mean, pubic wigs?  What an oddity.  Anyway, apparently they are now out of style.  As is cruelty to animals in the name of vanity, I hope.  Thanks to my friend, A, for this story.

Blowing Glitter

Have you ever wondered why facials are often considered to be either so hot or so foul?  Have you ever thought -- or worried -- that they might be about degrading or being degraded?  Well, sex educator Charlie Glickman adds some new ideas to the mix.  And as is often the case with wise reasoning, he reminds us that different people feel and believe different things.

A thought: if you blew glitter all over someone's face, would that be degrading?  Perhaps that depends on the context...

Representative Floyd and his Factory Equipment

This, Rep. Floyd, is factory equipment.

In spite of having work up to my eyeballs, I am burning with an anger that I just have to share.  Tennessee Representative Richard Floyd not only threatened violence against transgender people, but also defines gender, it would appear, as having "all the factory equipment."  (See the vid posted by the Transgender Law Center, along with their post.  Warning: it's highly offensive).  This reminds me of a piece I wrote a while back, about Herman Cain's homophobia, in which I asked Jennifer Strong, a Boston therapist who welcomes LGBTQ clients, about why homophobes so often focus on genitalia when expressing their loathing.  Here is an excerpt from the full Boston Magazine post:

"[Jennifer Strong] explained that a focus on genitalia allows people to ignore all the other aspects of a given relationship, especially those that might be familiar. “It’s much easier to deny someone rights,” says Strong, “when we think of them as being ‘other.'"

She adds that there’s a lot of “gender panic” in our society, with people fearing they won’t meet assumptions that men should be unlike women, who are often viewed as inferior on multiple levels. A result, Strong says, is that homophobia directed at men can be particularly virulent. And transgender individuals are targeted too: “Trans people, by definition, upset the heterosexist gender binaries,” says Strong. This, I note, is one of the many reasons I love the trans community so much — being trans is all about being yourself."

Needless to say, I am shocked at Floyd's lack of respect, love, and humanity, not to mention his aggression.

People who view difference as dangerous, are dangerous.

And why, oh why, should we have to spell that out?

Getting Naked Near You

Polly Surely from Rogue Burlesque

Bostonians are getting naked all over the place.  Though this is often a good thing, sometimes it just isn't.  If you'd like to know more about 2012 nakedness, take a look at my Boston Daily post at Boston Magazine today.

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Bitch No More, But Condoms Galore

As you may have heard, rapper Jay-Z has decided to stop calling women "bitches".  Why?  Because he now has a daughter. 

Well, I'm glad Jay-Z is seeing the light, but it's sad that it took having his own daughter to bring him around.  As an alternative, what about empathy?  You know, not having a daughter, but still understanding how it must feel to be called a bitch...or indeed, any sexist or degrading name?

As an aside, I'm sitting here mugging up on SOPA and PIPA, and panicking.  "What about porn, goddammit?" I cry, while my housemate nods sagely.  But, mumbling and huffing aside, did you hear that barrier contraception will now definitely be mandatory in LA porn?  Crikey, I wonder what colors of condom we'll be seeing.  Black?  Scarlet?  Rainbow?

The mind, as usual, boggles.

Pregnant Women Are Smug

Thank you to the wonderful E and R for this wicked belly laugh...  "Pregnant Women Are Smug" by Garfunkel and Oates.  Enjoy!

Undercover Sex Work

Ye Haiyan in a 10 dollar sexshop

Feminist and activist Ye Haiyan, also known as Liumang Yan (Hooligan Sparrow), "decided to provide sexual services to rural peasant workers on January 11 in defense of sex workers' rights after she witnessed a recent raid by police officers in a brothel in Guangxi province," writes Oiwan Lam at Global Voices Online.  In spite of attempts to censor her, Ye Haiyan backed up her work and you can read her reconstructed and translated account here.  This is courageous, heartfelt activism, folks.  Passionate and profound.

While we're on the subject of prostitution, we mustn't confuse the term by using it to describe victims of sex trafficking and/or sexual exploitation.  If you ever suspect that young people are being exploited or trafficked in the Boston area, do contact the My Life, My Choice Project, who work so hard to help, support and educate young victims.  They really do want to receive your call.

Global Voices Online link via tinynibbles.com

Condoms, Dental Dams, Latex Gloves and Bobo Dolls

You may have heard that LA porn performers could soon be required to wear condoms during on-screen sex.  The Los Angeles City Council voted 11-1 for the proposal, but another vote must be cast before final approval.  That said, the industry seems to be thorough about testing their performers -- in fact, according to some (e.g. Diane Duke) they're so effective that HIV contraction in porn is at an all-time low.  So why are we being told that this is an issue of safety?

Firstly, I'm all for modeling the use of barrier contraception in films.  Modeling has been shown to be incredibly powerful in instigating social change (just look to Bandura's classic Bobo Doll experiment for an example), and I think we'd all find condoms/dental dams sexier if we started associating them with red-hot porn.  That said, are condoms less reliable than actual testing?  Condoms can tear, right?  So will directors no longer insist that their performers are tested if the condom-wearing rule is passed?  I mean, barrier methods cost money, so something will surely have to give.  Dental dams would be required too, it seems, for vaginal oral sex, though the press aren't talking about that so much.  (Possibly because vaginal oral sex doesn't have to involve a penis?!).  Plus according to Alternet, the language in the ruling might suggest that latex gloves and goggles would also be required.

Unless you're into gloves and goggles, this might be a tadge distracting.

Interesting times.

Be Naked, Be Happy

From Violet Blue at TinyNibbles: "On January 2, Spanish retail clothing chain Desigual had a sale in its European stores where first-come, first-served shoppers could 'Arrive Half-Naked, Leave Fully Dressed.' They’ve held a number of these fun publicity stunts, where the first 100 shoppers to arrive 'in their smalls' leave with a free outfit."

What I love about this, apart from the obvious, (let's face it, I'm a crazed voyeur), is that everyone looks so darn happy.  Free and delighted and rebellious, like big kids at a party.  It reminds me of the bonding that happens when we get naked with one another, whether it's as friends, as lovers, as skinny dippers, as nudists, and feel that sense of community in our own skins.  Let no one ever tell you that there's shame in being naked.

Eve and Adam were happy before anyone put them down.

You can see more hot and delightful photos of the event at Buzzfeed (via tinynibbles).

The Rub

Now, I'm all about a great massage.  Yes, any day of the week.  So today I gave a wonder-friend of mine a Lush Mange Too Massage Bar for her birthday.  And the thing is, this stuff is edible.  No really.  You can lick it.

Woah.

Just imagine the possibilities.  And once you've done that, imagine some more.  And it doesn't mean that you have to massage someone else, then lick it all off...not that this isn't a good idea.  But nope, you can massage yourself, for instance!  Why the heck not.  And while we're at it, massage candles are super too.  You can relax in the balmy scent before blowing out the flame and treating yourself or others, pre- or post-sex, or just for sheer enjoyment, with that warm wax.  Of course, massage wax is just warm, not hot, so its perfect for massage and/or wax play.

Oh, and if you're interested in learning some hand-massage, did you know that reflexology can be performed on hands?  There's a member of staff at Lush on Newbury Street who did just this for me.  How gorgeous.  Here's a handy chart if you're interested.

The Pope Says Gay Marriage is a Threat to the Future of Humanity

I mean, what lunacy.  As if caring, connecting, enjoying and trusting could ever bring humanity down.  Hatred and intolerance, though?  In the name of faith?  That's about as destructive as you can get.

Don't Be Cruel

Venus by Annibale Carracci (16th century)

Kelsey Wallace of Bitch quite rightly slams a Childhood Obesity Campaign based in Atlanta.  It's a cruel one, folks, that encourages low self-esteem and bullying.  How upsetting to see young people's body sizes and shapes being targeted in such a mean way.  There is simply no love in it.  And as Wallace points out, the generalization is staggering.  There are lots of reasons for having a larger body, and when body size is due to a genuine health issue, kindness is key.  And while we're at it, in another day and time, everyone wanted to be voluptuous and curvy. Just look at Venus.

The campaign breaks the most important rule: Don't be cruel.

Sex Advice From Literary Women (Buffy Included)

Buffy and Spike in "Smashed"

Thanks to my friend, E, for letting me know about Sex Advice From Literary Women: 10 Steamy Secrets from Classic Novels.  It's a fun post and well worth reading, though it's a shame we don't have a few queer pics and examples too.  Plus I think the high culture snobbery about "the classics" is erroneous.  Shakespeare was the popular writer of his day, and the same went for Jane Austen, so calling them part of the literary canon doesn't mean they weren't ever pulp.  They're simply old pulp.  And damn good pulp too.  Dammit, Shakespeare may even be the best pulp ever.

The equivalent of Shakespeare today, I'd say, is probably Joss Whedon because he is a popular dramatist -- a writer for the people -- whose stories recognize what it is to be different, or dark, or trapped by society's rules, or messed with psychologically, or left out, or struggling to maintain a persona.  So what have we learned about sex from Joss?

Here's one from the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer entitled Passion:

"Passion. It lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all and we obey. What other choice do we have? It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow: empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead."

Or this, from End of Days, in which Spike, a vampire who has regained his soul, speaks to Buffy about a night spent holding her:

"I've lived for sodding ever, Buffy. I've done everything. I've done things with you I can't spell, but I've never been close to anyone, least of all you, until last night. All I did was hold you, watch you sleep, and it was the best night of my life. So, yeah, I'm terrified."

Oh, and this one isn't a quote, but it's still a lesson about sex:  In Hush, a spell has made the town of Sunnydale speechless.  Willow and Tara, who are both witches, are in a room waiting for the monsters to come through the door and rip them to shreds.  (You should know that these two women are attracted to one another, but have yet to get together).  The room, which is almost empty, has a drinks machine in the corner, and Tara sees the drinks machine, then communicates her plan to Willow, with her gaze.  Willow seems to understand and the women link their fingers together, gently, slowly, reading one another's stares, then --wham!-- as their grasp on one another tightens, they turn their eyes to the drinks machine, connected, and it swooshes across the room, thumping to a stop against the door. 

The power of sexual connection.  Need I say more?

By the way, I just realised that Spike isn't a woman, but sod it, he gives a darn good quote. ;)

The Things I Say

Today, at Trident Booksellers, I'm waiting for the restroom, when a man walks out of the men's room.  Well, there are no guys in the queue, so I decide to go on in.  After all, I don't believe in separating bathrooms by gender -- the binary always leaves people out.

Anyway, my philosophy is tested when I emerge from the men's room to find a guy waiting outside.  "Hey," he says, "isn't that the men's room?"

"It is," I say, walking by.

He glowers at me now.  "But you're not a man."

"Ah," I say, with a smile, "but how do you know I don't have a cock?"

Let's just say he didn't answer.

Sex Statistics: No Hammocks Included

Well, I've been reading that 30% of women over the age of 80 are still sexually active, and that 1 percent of women can achieve an orgasm simply from nipple stimulation.  Where did I get this info?  From a post by Adam Cloe at Livestrong.com.  Do check out his list of fascinating sex trivia...but tread carefully.  Apart from those mentioned in the body of his text, Cloe doesn't quote his sources.  So I'm treating the "facts" he mentions as intrigue, rather than downright truth, and have already started googling a few that particularly interest me.  (e.g. The average speed of ejaculation seems to be very much under debate...and I'm beginning to think that Cloe's talking about male ejaculation, not female).

Other things I'd like to know?  How many thirty-somethings have had sex in a hammock?  How many thirty-somethings have had sex in a hammock that hasn't fallen down?

See why I should be put in charge of all sex surveys, hm? ;)

Why I Want a Stunt Double

Last night, as the credits of Young Adult* were rolling, I noticed, with mock jealousy, that Charlize Theron was listed as having a stunt double.  Now, I hadn't noticed any acts of great physical valour -- none that seemed to merit such exquisite help, I mean -- but all considered, this shows how naive I am.  I mean, if a director asked me to trip over a flagstone, I'd probably fall flat on my face.

That said, do you think I could get a stunt double?  Imagine.  Every time I did something brave, I could pass the whole struggle on to some other burly person, who, from the right angle, looked a lot like me.  They'd know just how to express affection, how to love their own freckles, how to ask for what they long for.  They'd be a "better" me.

But no.  Wait.  Here's a truth, instead:

The first time I subbed in the bedroom, I told myself I was someone else.  A woman who was strong enough to bear the pain.  But the more I played this role, the more I became it.  I felt strong and proud and close and good.  And soon, I realised this wasn't my stunt double -- this woman had always been inside me.  This was the Lana Fox who could calm the cruel and angry, and could raise her head high when the world went wrong.  This was the woman who knew herself and didn't give a jot who couldn't see it.

If my stunt double owned my sexuality on my behalf, I wouldn't be myself, which means I wouldn't love as truly.  Because part of being a sex-positive person is loving.  Really loving.  

So no stunt doubles for me, I guess.

(Except at Christmas?  Once a year.  Now wouldn't that be nice!).

*A super film.  Much sadder than you'd think, but also riotously funny, and ultimately, very insightful.

Rogue Burlesque: It Gets Better

I love Rogue Burlesque.  And I have an even softer spot for them, now that I've seen their It Gets Better video.  Enjoy!

The Hippopotamus

I love animals.  And of course, I'm not alone.  In Taoism, wise folks have watched animals in order to work out how to harmoniously and powerfully live a life.  Furthermore, a psychologist named Rupert Sheldrake once ran a study that strongly suggested dogs know when their owners are coming home even when these owners arrive at random times (see vid below), and though Sheldrake's experimental rigor has been called into question, I still don't think this means the hypothesis wasn't a good one.  Plus sexually, animals follow their desires, without the need for social or moral validation.  (And to come back to Sheldrake's study, I have often thought that sexual attunement might well be linked with psychic clarity).

Anyhoo, this is just a sly and roundabout way of sharing the Hippopotamus Song, by Flanders and Swann, who were some of my Dad's favourite comedians.  The song is ridiculously silly, and comes with an even sillier preamble.  Do not listen unless you're prepared for zany, British stuff that hails from the 1950's.  That said, what's wrong with a little silliness, every now and then?

Revisions to the Uniform Crime Report’s Definition of Rape

As of today, the legal, U.S. definition of rape has been updated by Attorney General Eric Holder.  The new version defines rape as, "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."

The full definition takes gender out of the equation, while also making clear that physical resistance from the victim is not the only way to demonstrate lack of consent.  It also acknowledges that physical pressure and bodily force aren't the only ways of robbing us of our sexual consent.  And quite right too.

Interestingly, Obama has named January 2012 as National Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month.  Yes, sexual trafficking is a very real concern, as we know, but is not to be confused with consensual sex work.  Feministing covers this with real wisdom, here.

Ancient Porn, Still Going Strong

Pic: Museum of London (via NYT)

Thanks to my friend, B, for sending this link to a story about an ancient, "pornographic" bronze disc discovered near Putney Bridge in London.  As a result, all those anti-porn people who mumble, "There was never any pornography in my day," can just be nice and quiet, and ponder. ;)

Oh, and a postscript: According to my wise friend, this looks like a brothel token -- in other words, a picture that someone who didn't speak the native language could point at, in order to communicate that they wanted to buy time with a prostitute.  I guess the folks of yore might have been turned on by looking at it...but if its intention is primarily communication rather than titillation, does that make it porn?

And so, the debate rages on!

Dan Savage, Cutting Through the Santorum Crap

Thanks to Alternet for posting this vid, and to Dan Savage for cutting through the crap with a good, sharp blade:

Facebook Flirting Apparently Causes One in Three Divorces

I always get a little suspicious when an activity is thought to be causing divorce rates to rocket.  After all, divorce isn't the only way for a relationship to break down.  Yes, it's easy to measure in a formal study, but perhaps it's also rather limiting in its reach.  I'd like to see if the survey gave the same results if "a partner moving out" was the indicator of relationship break-up.  That said, the survey Forbes quote in this article confirms what we're seeing all over the place -- you don't have to be in the same room to instantly flirt, or get off, any more. 

So...how many sex ed. teachers are talking about issues of internet sex?  How many teenagers are discussing social media interaction -- and its strengths and potential pitfalls -- at school?  

In fact, according to the Forbes article:

"...a Connecticut judge ruled one couple must share social media passwords as part of their divorce agreement, leading to speculation about how and by whom the photos, comments and personal information people share can be used."

Woah.  This world of tech just grows more tangled.  And to think that some sex ed. teachers are only just getting used to putting a condom on a banana.

Seriously, our young people need to talk about these issues.  And now.

Lady Macbeth and the Big O

Tonight, my dears, I am cold and tired.  So where am I going?  To bed, with my hot water bottle.  Yes!  But fear not.  Before I retire, I'm leaving you with the latest Sassy Gay Friend -- see below.  (Those who have never seen Sassy Gay Friend, you should definitely start with either Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet.  They're the best...and there's zero marketing).

Come to think of it, I always did think a good orgasm would help Lady Macbeth to loosen up.  I know she's played her part in several murders, but she might still get away with a religious vibrator, seeing as she's only into men... (see previous post and sigh ironically).

Night night, all.

The Holy Hand Grenade Meets the Religious Vibrator

Remember the Holy Hand Grenade?  Well, the holy sex toy isn't far behind.  Yes, you can read about religious sex toy stores here, in an article by Allison Yarrow (link via tinynibbles).  Oh, but according to the religious sex toy experts (!) you're only allowed a holy sex toy if you're heterosexual.  Dammit.  The gates of heaven almost opened...

Oh, who am I kidding?  A religious vibrator would take one look at me and run for the hills.  Thinking about it, that would make a great photo...

Haha.

Rooney Mara With a Dragon Tattoo

I saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo while I was in the UK -- the David Fincher version -- and my god, it was a stunning movie.  The film contains the kind of sexual violence that twists your insides up and makes them warp, and also a sexual connection that feels unusually true for the big screen.  Intense stuff.  Rooney Mara, as Lisbeth, is compelling, afraid of nothing and everything.  And she isn't your classic violent-but-sexualized heroine.  She is raw and wild and oh-so-bright.

And I now wish to get my nose pierced.  No really.

Anyway, more on this at a later date, but I wanted to show her to you.  See the pic on the left.  Staggering.

Wonders of 2011: Orgasm Mapping (Feet Included)

Barry Komisaruk via Time

I was reading through the 2011 Top Ten Sex & Tech Headlines (compiled by Violet Blue at ZDNet) and was brought back to the wondrous brain mapping of female orgasms, which we saw this year.  If you didn't read about this, please, please do.  Sex and neuroscience are a fascinating combo here.  Basically, in the study, women were asked to stimulate erogenous zones with their fingers or a sex toy, while being brain scanned in an fMRI machine.  Here's more from the article by Maia Szalavitz at Time Healthland:

"Not surprisingly, the brain region associated with sensation from the clitoris was distinct from those that respond to stimulation of the cervix or vagina. Each area of the genitals showed up in its own spot, clustered in one region of the brain — the same region associated with genital stimulation in men — overlapping but separate.

"What the researchers did not anticipate was that sensation from the nipples also excited the brain within the same region, right alongside the areas corresponding to genital stimulation, according to lead author Barry Komisaruk, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University. “That was completely unexpected,” he says. It would help explain why the nipples are erogenous zones in women, he says."

In fact, Szalavitz also reveals that, during the study, neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran found that two participants, both of whom had an amputated foot, described their orgasms as being experienced in their genitals and their "phantom feet."  Komisaruk says, “It enlarged their sense of orgasm, and they felt it in their foot as well as their genitals."

Powerful findings, hm?  Makes all those people who act as if sex is all about genitals sound pretty darn silly now, doesn't it?