Lady Gaga's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Speech

I think Lady Gaga's fantastic, but I've never really been into her music.  That said, while I was researching her for the Boston Magazine post below, I viewed some videos of her ladyship, including her speeches.  Listening to the following, I found it artful, passionate, articulate, and, what's more, pretty darn spot on.  So I thought I'd post it.  And there's a transcript here too.

Sex Education, the Gaga Way

My Wednesday column is up at Boston Magazine.  As you'll see, I'm putting Lady Gaga in charge of sex ed.  Let's face it, we need her...

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Burlesque for Beginners (Or How to Walk Like a Slutty Nurse)

So on Saturday morning, I awoke and wondered what to wear.  After all, a burlesque class isn't the venue for jeans and a T-shirt.  Checking the Rogue Burlesque website, I found a list:  Clothes that are easy to strip out of included skirts with a zipper, shirts with buttons down the front, and, of course, stockings with garter belts.  Faithful to the cause, I opted for a black button-down shirt with a pencil skirt.  The skirt, incidentally, has a slit up the left-hand thigh.  I also packed fishnet stockings and a garter belt, and wore a front-opening bra -- this, I figured, was a super-smart move.

Snort.

Our Burlesque workshop had only five students, and what a blast it was.  Run by Polly and Sassy of Rogue Burlesque, there was an instant feeling of sexual openness, and a sex-positivity that's hard to fake.  I chose Rogue because of their philosophy and events:  They are all about showcasing different body types and sexualities, and unlike other troops I could mention, Rogue's workshops for women are open to all who are female-identified.  They run classes for guys as well.  Hint, hint...

Anyhoo, as we all introduced ourselves, Polly and Sassy loved it that three of us were sex writers (I'd come with a couple of friends who've attended my erotic writing classes).  The class got off to sultry start, with Polly giving a delectable performance of her own. I might add that she was wearing the most stunning glittery eyelashes.  And wow, that woman has killer eyes.

What to tell you?  The dance studio had a polished wood floor with a mirrored wall, and our first activity was to "stride" in a variety of ways.  We were given the archetypes of refined lady, dominatrix and buxom wench, to name but a few, and we strode up and down that dance floor together, Polly and Sassy included.  As I walked, the slit in my skirt revealed a single garter-strap, and it was fun as heck to play up to that.  When does anyone ever tell you to "walk like a slutty nurse"?  Holy cow, what fun it was.  Hysterical, glittering, brazen!

You see, the reason I recommend taking such a course is because of the sexual confidence it can give you.  There's only so inhibited you can be when you're peeling off a silk glove with your teeth, or opening a feather boa to show the world your cleavage!  It was also a lesson in body language -- all the sensual messages we silently give off.  And as for tassel-twirling...oh don't get me started.  You can't be uptight when you're in stockings and briefs, bouncing and rolling your shoulders in order to swirl your tassles.  It's hilarious, outrageous and fun as heck.  Like sex-shop browsing with trusted friends, learning to strip with your mates is a bonding experience.  It's wonderful when we encourage one another, reinforcing that we're sexy.  There's nothing so enjoyable as that.

And who would have thought a front-opening bra was tricky to strip out of?  It took me a while to negotiate the straps... 

But once it's off, who cares? ;)

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Burlesque Wonderland

Gypsy Rose Lee

Yesterday, I went to a beginners' burlesque class with a couple of friends, and oh my, what a treat.  It's funny...I always wanted to be a sexy-dancing-diva in the boudoir, but every time I got started I just didn't feel I had repertoire.  But after yesterday's class, end of problem.  Sassy and Polly from Rogue Burlesque taught us all sorts of luscious moves.  I strutted around in fishnet stockings and learnt how to twirl tassels (who'd have thought it was all in the shoulders?), not to mention the art of the feather boa.

Anyway, just a brief check-in.  More soon on that fabulous class.  (And you'll note the pic of Gypsy Rose Lee, who, it is said, could take 15 minutes to remove a silk glove, and have the audience sitting on the edge of their seats the whole darn time).

For Jamey

If you haven't heard about Jamey Rodemeyer, folks, prepare to feel brokenhearted.  In May, he recorded a powerful and inspiring "It Gets Better" vid.  Then, just this week, he took his own life due to homophobic bullying.  Jamey, may you rest in peace.

Folks, you know it and I know it -- sex education as it stands isn't working.  We make our teens carry society's shame, and then so many rid themselves of it by projecting it onto those who are fighting for freedom and pride.  Why the hell aren't we talking about emotion and identity in sex ed. classes?  Probably because our overworked teachers are so damn scared.

Dear heaven, we're in need of love and pride.

You know, I'm going to post my favourite "It Gets Better" vid below.  I've posted it before, but I'm so desperate for us to stop passing on the hate that I'm getting repetitive.  But so what?  Kate's vid bears repeating over and over.  So here it is, courtesy of the wonderful Kate Bornstein.  (The vid quality is a little wobbly, but it soon clears).  For all of you who are struggling to stay in this world, this one's for you, with love:

The Nerd: A Kinky Animal?

This week's post at Boston Magazine explores nerds, geeks and sex...especially kink.  The piece showcases Central Square's awesome Nerdy Cabaret too.

Sex nerd that I am, I always did fancy a Wonder Woman costume.  Looks like it's time I got one. ;)

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Jakarta Against Shaming

Pic: Shepard Fairey

Last Friday, folks marched through Indonesia's capital city, Jakarta, in a SlutWalk-style protest.  (Thanks to Abbi for the link).  But why?  Because Fauzi Bowo, the city's governor, had said that women should stop wearing revealing clothes if they wanted to avoid being raped or victimized.  When will certain people get it into their heads that the victim shouldn't be pushed to change their behaviour in order to stop the bully's behaviour!  I mean, sheesh, dammit and holy cow.

So bravo to these savvy protestors.  Though I will add a note of interest:  One banner apparently said, "My body is not porn, instead it's your dirty mind."  I agree with the sentiment, but let's remember that decent porn contains consenting performers who are enjoying themselves, and is watched by non-intrusive viewers.  Responsible porn-viewing is all about peace, while slut-shaming and victim-blaming are all about the opposite.

But bravo, Jakarta!  March on.

Hot Heroes and Kinky Geeks

I'm working wildly hard at this end, but couldn't resist taking a look at this fascinating article on kinky geeks, (which I found via the super-sexy, super-talented Shanna Germain) not to mention the recent fad for kinky superheroes at a Lowell night club.

As a proud sex geek, I'm glad to see we're getting some favorable press. Nerd on.

Miss Universe and the Femme Show

Boston's Femme Show

Today at the Boston Daily, Miss Universe meets the Femme Show.  It ain't just about the sequins ya know.

Also, find out about the Femme Show's annual tour, which starts in Cambridge this September.

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The Hot Topic, vol. 11: Erotica for Bachmann

You know what Michele Bachmann could really do with?  Some hot erotica.  Check out my new post at the Nervous Breakdown where I reveal all.

I'm also thinking of starting a centre where homophobes can come along for some non-judgmental conversion therapy.  The pleasure's all mine.  It will give me a spiritual glow.

While I'm eagerly awaiting Michele's call, however, what do I find but a  story at the Publisher's Weekly blog, in which a major agent agreed to take on a YA book manuscript, but only if the authors Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith made a central point-of-view character straight instead of gay.

Holy smoke.  It seems the Bachmanns aren't alone in their wish to convert the world.

Since the story broke, ethical agents such as Laura Bradford  are blasting out, loud and clear, that they believe in preserving queer characters.  Thank heaven.  

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Stelle: An Aside

Estella from the BBC's
Great Expectations (Dickens)

Today, I was editing the final draft of my erotic novel Second Bite of the Cherry, specifically concentrating on Stelle's storyline.  Stelle is a con artist, since you ask, and a hot one at that.  This editing fest involved sitting with my laptop on the porch, as a friend worked next to me, also tapping away.  Suddenly, the next door neighbor came out into his garden and started calling for a dog:  "Stelle!" he called.  "Stella!"  Over and over again, he called that name, while I was editing my own Stelle.

Now if that isn't strange I don't know what is.

Sex Workers Against Trafficking (Via Emerald)

I've been researching sex workers who are anti-trafficking and found this inspiring YouTube vid.  It shatters stereotypes with real elegance.  Bravo!  (And thanks so much to wonderful Emerald for the link).

How Abortion Rights Affect Sex

At Boston Magazine today, I discuss how abortion rights affect sex.  It's a big issue that runs deeper than we might initially think.  And while we're at it, if you have some money to share, why not give to the EMA Fund?  They do a vital job in supporting women who can't afford abortions.

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Camera, Action!

The legendary Aishwarya Rai
(A Bollywood star I grew up watching)

I had a lovely time with friends tonight, then I returned back home and worked.  Phew!  Time to crash in front of some Buffy, methinks.

But before I do that, here's some news:

Firstly, Steve Almond has a wonder-seminar this coming Monday on how to write hot sex scenes (Grub Street, Boston).  Steve is a master of the literary sex scene and is also a deeply enjoyable speaker and teacher.  I can't recommend him enough.  Trust me, you'll learn heaps.

Secondly (aargh) my photo is up at Boston Magazine.  My friend tells me I have to stop thinking I look terrible in pictures because it simply isn't true.  So this is me, telling you about my pic in an attempt to be proud of it.  Proud, proud.  See?  I'm trying.

Thirdly, India is taking its own soft-core porn films seriously, acknowledging how much they reveal about Indian culture.  Read all about it in this fascinating article, India: Soft-Core Porn Makes a Comeback.  As someone who grew up watching my Indian friends' Bollywood movies, I am always enthralled by Indian pin-ups.  Here's a taster from the article -- a quote from cultural critic Meena T. Pillai:

“You'd be shocked if you actually saw a Malayalam [language] softcore porn movie. [The camera] basically stops at the thigh. It doesn't ride further up than that,” said Pillai. “But the moment you show women's desire, that movie would automatically be labeled porn.”

Fascinating, hm?

Cherry Creams & Other Seductions

I'm chock-a-block with deadlines, but I want to share a thought.  My friend and I were talking about romance, and I came to this conclusion:  Is there anything more seductive than chocolates?  I don't mean bars of Dairy Milk, much as I love them, but rather the tiny cream-filled numbers you receive in boxes, padded by a layer of tissue.  They're such a luxury in terms of both texture and taste, and are just the right size for their consumption to feel seductive.  Taking a single chocolate on the tongue is redolent of so many sex acts.  The licking, the warming, the melting...

Oh my.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down, I buy myself chocolates.  And whatever your perfect seduction is, you should do it for yourself when you can.  Yes, when others aren't romancing us, we can still be romanced.  Spread the word, and far.

Collared

I have a close friend who's a sub to his partner's dom.  Every so often, she makes him wear something to prove she possesses him even when she isn't around.  Hence I go to meet him for coffee and he's wearing a slim leather collar around his throat and looking hot as hell.  I've told him their sub/dom relationship is one of the most romantic I've heard of.  To be possessed and to want to be possessed.  A beautiful thing.  The collar is like a testament to the fact that she hates to be away from him and he is faithful to her wishes.  BDSM can be romantic, ain't no doubt.

Part of my envy, I think, is to do with their closeness.  The collar around his neck is a testament to how she's "there" even when she isn't.  She doesn't take her mind off him, is possessive, jealous, desperate to dom him.  Who wants red roses?  This is as hot as it gets.

Proof that BDSM can be better than a bouquet?  This scene from Secretary is one of the sexiest moments I've ever witnessed in cinema.  Leigh is a nervous, self-harming secretary to Mr. Grey, who himself is more nervous than he seems...