"High heels keep women vulnerable," said our lecturer. And, back then, I felt she had a point. The stiletto brings sex appeal by restricting movement -- the reason we walk with that attractive lilt is because we've been forced to manipulate our feet and change our step. When challenged with the notion that high heels empowered the wearer, the lecturer shook her head. "By having our movements restricted, we're trying to gain power by losing it, which puts us at a disadvantage."
Years later I began to question her arguments. Images of women walking over men in their spiky heels were so common they'd become almost typical, and how did this keep the woman more vulnerable than the man? It was he who was being limited. She was literally pinning him down. Stilettos, after all, are like some kind of pointy tool.
These days, we are more used to the idea that gender and sexuality aren't just about being "female" or "male". A guy who identifies as strongly heterosexual might dress up in lingerie and pace about in heels, and we're also more aware that folks can be transgender, transsexual, lesbian, gay, queer...in fact there's a wondrous range of genders and sexualities. And high heels aren't limited to the heterosexual femme fatale. They're out there for anyone, baby.
In addition, BDSM culture challenges notions of power: For instance, we can demonstrate our own strength by choosing a submissive role and joying in our ability to withstand pain. When speaking of this, I'm reminded of the tale of the big guy who approached the Buddhist monk with a knife. The big guy was angry that the monk seemed unafraid. "Don't you know who I am?" he said. "I am a man who can look you in the eye while I chop off your head."
The monk smiled calmly. "Don't you know who I am? I am a man who can look you in the eye while you chop off my head."
Who was more powerful? Love it!
So I honestly think we're beyond the idea that high heels are limiting. Those of us who choose to wear stilettos limit ourselves in order to move beyond our own capacity -- a very empowering notion. It is also possible to become so adept at operating in heels that they feel like second nature. We can extend our balance and ability by busting our own barriers.
As long as the participants are willing, let's do what we want. And we'll do it because we choose it.
So buy me those spikies, sister.
