An acquaintance of mine has never used the internet. When I offered to show her how, she explained she was frightened of the content. "I've heard it's terrible," she said, "all sex and violence." She knows I believe sex is both beautiful and moral, but her fears were the issue, so I kept to her agenda. "Of course there's a lot of violence," I said, "and there's some horrible stuff on the net. But horrible stuff's all over the place and we still leave our homes each morning." The net, I explained, is just like the world. There is light, there is dark, and there are many shades of grey, and it's up to the individual to chart their own journey.
I thought of this today when I was reading about Stop Porn Culture. This group are holding a conference in Boston this weekend called Feminists Against Pornography, and there's a fiercely controversial debate about their tenets. According to Stop Porn Culture, porn is responsible for inciting rape, torture techniques, sexism and violence against women. The group also claims that sexual abuse is what causes women to turn to sex work because many female sex workers were sexually abused as kids. Well, for starters, where's the evidence? Also, as someone who's studied psychological research, isn't it possible that folks who were sexually abused as kids turn to sex work or erotic film to react triumphantly against their pasts? As for porn that might incite torture, well I guess it exists. On the other hand, I reckon the lion's share of pornography actually incites peace. Satisfied people aren't so likely to be violent, and there's a whole lot of evidence for that. Add to this the argument that a high percentage of porn is made in the homes it's viewed in, and I don't think the anti-porn folks have a leg to stand on.
I can't say I've read Stop Porn Culture's evidence (though Violet Blue, who I'd trust with my life, says this group have been slow to reveal any actual sources). However, I will say this: Of course there is pornography that denigrates women! That's why
Candida Royalle started directing her own kinder pornographic films. Working in the porn industry was lousy, so she said, "Enough! Let's make the experience better." Similarly, on
In Bed with Susie Bright, erotic filmmaker
Jennifer Lyon Bell explained how she and her cast get naked and go for pre-filming saunas together, because this bonds them and brings the trust. No abusing of women there. As for the negative images that porn is allegedly bringing into our culture, I argue we must teach people to question what is out there rather than taking away freedom of expression.
Now if this conference was asking, "Are there ways we can make the sex industry fairer?" or "How can we begin to define what's problematic and what's helpful?" or "What's exploitative, what's empowering, and what can be done about this?" I'd be interested in attending. These are the sort of questions we are often afraid to ask when a topic feels taboo. But stating that all porn is destroying us doesn't hold water.
Like it or not, porn is here to stay, and only by accepting this can we influence what porn means. Frankly, I think it's wonderful that we have this form of sexual expression, and I'll fight for the right any day of the week, just as I'll fight for the fair treatment of everyone involved.
Yes, I do. Since you ask.
And I own a vibrator as well.
Of course, Violet says it better than I do. To see her on youtube,
go here.
As a postscript to the post below, here are some more fun reviews of Alison's Wonderland, which will soon be on the shelves:
Thanks to Alison Tyler and Dayle Dermatis (who writes as Andrea Dale in the collection) for letting us know of some wonderful news. Alison's Wonderland has received a four star review from Romantic Times, and they called yours truly intriguing! Read a snippet here, and of course, pre-order the book to get your fill of sexy marvels, including magical offerings by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Allison Wonderland and Shanna Germaine. See a full list of authors here. Alison has also started a blog for the book, so why not take a peek?
I'm thrilled to announce that my story, The Silver Belt, is to appear in Passion: Erotic Romance for Women, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and published by Cleis Press. Rachel, being wondrous, has created an amazing blog for the book and we can also pre-order on Amazon. I should add that I'm a big fan of passion in erotica. Frankly, I'd like to see more of it. Sensations go deeper when there's feeling, baby. It ain't all about finding the G-spot.
