"Dressed me up in women's clothes,Messed around with gender roles,Dye my eyes and call me pretty."From 'Laid' by James"When he went backstage to see her, she was dressing among a profusion of flowers; and for the delight of her admirers who sat around her, she was rouging her sex with her lipstick without permitting them to make a single gesture towards her."From Delta of Venus ("The Hungarian Adventurer") by Anais Nin
I'll never forget Violet Blue's advice for maintaining perfect lipstick during our wilder moments. Years ago, thanks to Violet's blog, I went out and invested in one of those sticks of lippy that you paint on with a brush then seal with a slick. This means, oh great ones, that during any kind of kissing, the lips remain as red as you want them. I'm talking about the lips on your face, by the way, though according to Anais Nin (see above), there's no harm in painting the other lips too...
What is it about make-up that can make us feel sexy? The definition of the features? The sensuous act of 'painting'? Or the idea that, once it's on, we're sexier than before? As a stocking or shoe can help us a play a role, so can coloured lips or mascara. We've been fed this image by the media, of course. Is it a necessity? Hell, no! The sexiest woman I've ever met refuses to wear make-up, and I have to say, she looks hot without it.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm aware of female suppression. I've met feminists* who shun the fact I paint my eyes. But my take is this - if it feels good, do it, and if it doesn't, let it go. Just always be aware that there's a choice.
If you enjoy it and it causes no harm... slap on that lipstick. baby. May it help you feel.
Just after I finished the post above, I sat up for a while reading The Sexual State of the Union by Susie Bright. In the intro, she mentions lipstick and feminism (what are the chances of me reading that on the very same night I blogged about the subject!). Here's the quote:
"Feminism as an intellectual movement has been largely torpedoed by stupid sex questions. The last time I was at a feminist symposium, surrounded by magnificent female minds, our host opened up the discussion by asking, 'Can a feminist wear lipstick?' She almost lost the whole group of us right there and then. Feminism is not about whether you're going to be cute or doggy, fucked or unfucked, nice or mean to the other girls. Feminists have gouged each other on such questions because they've been in a closet as big and crowded as all of Macy's basement. But until every last woman comes out about her sexual desire, it's going to be a bloody mess."
That's Susie Bright. A hero of mine.
*I hold many feminist views myself - but I don't see anything wrong with lipstick, lace... (the list goes on)